song of songs resources

Below are resources for further study on the book Song of Songs:

The Marriage you’ve Always Wanted. By Dr. Gary Chapman

A Marriage After God’s Own Heart. By David Clarke

Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ’s Control. By Elisabeth Elliot

Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage. By Dr. Kevin Leman

Making Sense of the Men in Your Life. By Dr. Kevin Leman

A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Married Sexual Pleasure. By Douglas E. Rosenau

Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask about Sex. By Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus

Intimacy Ignited: Conversations Couple to Couple: Fire Up Your Sex Life with the Song of Solomon. By Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus

The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment. By Clifford L. Penner

Desperate Marriages: Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationship. By Gary Chapman

The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love. By Tim & Beverly LaHaye

 

Excerpts below from ‘Love and Respect Ministries’, Rev. Emerson Eggerichs Ph.D.

AS YOUR HUSBAND, I FEEL RESPECTED WHEN:

Conquest: I feel you are appreciating my pursuits in my field (my desire to work and achieve) when you:

  • Tell me "Thanks" for going to work everyday for the family
  • Cheer my successes whether in business or in sports
  • Ask me to talk about my dreams in business or in sports

Hierarchy: I feel you’re appreciating my position as overseer (my desire to protect and provide and even die for you) when you:

  • Say to me "I really do look up to you for feeling responsible for me"
  • Tell me that you are deeply touched by the thought that "I’d die for you"
  • Praise my commitment to provide, i.e. "bring home the bacon"

Authority: I feel you’re appreciating my power on your behalf (my desire to be strong, to lead and make decisions) when you:

  • Tell me I’m strong as you squeeze my muscle (it’s symbolic)
  • Praise my good decisions
  • Honor my authority in front of the kids and differ with me in private

Insight: I feel you’re appreciating my perspective and proposals (my desire to analyze and counsel when you:

  • Thank me for my advice and knowledge
  • Let me fix things and applaud my solution orientation
  • Tell me up-front you need "an ear" to listen and not a solution

Relationship: I feel you’re valuing my partnership and pastimes (my desire for a shoulder-to-shoulder friendship when you:

  • Tell me you like me
  • Do recreational activities with me, or watch me do them
  • Encourage alone time for me; this energizes me to re-connect with you later

Sexuality: I feel you are appreciating my passions and pleasures (my desire for sexual intimacy when you:

  • Initiate periodically
  • Respond more often
  • Let me acknowledge my sexual temptations without shaming me or me feeling shamed

 

AS YOUR WIFE, I FEEL RESPECTED WHEN:

Closeness: I feel a closeness with you (face to face and heart to heart) when you:

  • Hold my hand
  • Hug me
  • Are affectionate without sexual intentions

Openness: I feel an openness with you (you are not secretly mad) when you:

  • Share your feelings
  • Tell me about your day and challenges
  • Talk without harshness, guardedness, or grunting

Understanding: I feel you understand me (empathize with me) when you:

  • Listen to me (know when to give advice and when not to solve my problems)
  • Repeat back what I sometimes say so I know you’re listening to me
  • Express appreciation for my contribution and roles by saying, "I couldn’t do your job"

Peacemaking: I feel at peace with you (issues are resolved) when you:

  • Admit you are wrong and apologize by saying "I am sorry" (which is a turn on to a woman)
  • Keep the relationship up to date, resolve the unresolved, and don’t say "forget it"
  • Pray together after a hurtful time

Loyalty: I feel a loyalty from you (complete commitment) when you:

  • Don’t look at other women
  • Speak only positive things about me before family and friends, no airing of dirty laundry
  • Do not bring up the "D" word (Divorce) but are committed until death do us part

Esteem: I feel esteemed by you (treasured above others) when you:

  • Verbally support and honor me in front of the children
  • Praise me for what I do for you
  • Value my opinion in the gray areas; not wrong, just different from you